Little Contessa Consuela

Yes, finals and the end of the semester are driving us nuts. As a result of pressue, Contessa Consuela came into play. She started as a lump of clothes, a pile of bones, a cosmetology head and was in desperate need of a rebirth.

Consuela now has an existence and a history. Here is the beginning of her story as told by Katy.

"Long, long, ago,.... in a galaxy far, far away..........there lived a poor Mexican peasant family in the dusty, barren poverty-stricken confines of the mountainside villages of Mexico. It was in such a trailer park of a village that Corazon Constipatio, and his new bride Conchita, made their humble home. They worked long laborious hours, for mere pennies a day, just to keep Doritos and Pepsi on the table. ...In fact they didn't even own a table, they kept their measly rations in a sack on the floor. A sack that dear Conchita made with her own two hands, with remnants from her wedding dress. Ah yes.... the very dress that became tattered and soiled from their journey over the mountainside. Frugality was not an uncommon trait amongst these settlers, and the neighboring villagers would welcome the many more sacks that Conchita would sell door to door, in her off hours, all made from the same beloved dress. Always a little on the hefty side.....Conchita had planned to join Jenny Craig prior to the wedding, but became disenchanted with the program when America Ferrera didn't become the company's new spokesmodel. Never a true Valerie BertinellI fan, she opted out, and decided to just pack on a few more pounditos. Alas, despite the enormous success of her wedding bag sales, Corazon & Conchita struggled to make ends meet. Barely making ends meet, the couple scrounged for most of their meals and supplies. Tension mounted in their humble abode. Bickering , endless arguments, and nasty text messaging filled their long hard days on the mountain. Corazon tried to remedy the financial burden by working longer hours, and finding good deals on e-bay,... but to no avail.......they would just have to learn to cut back their budget in other ways........ It was Conchita who persuaded him to bid on that defective case of condoms from that guy in El Paso. As fate would have it, Fed Ex actually did detect a cross street for the village, and dropped the box at the village outskirts......... it was only a matter of time before disaster would strike. Despite his best efforts, Corazon was unable to use the damaged goods. Conchita suggested he seek help from some of the more virile neighbor-men in the village........ To this day, paternity suits still flood the tiny stone courthouse in the village...... Villagers still fight, each trying to stake their claim of fatherhood for the one who made their village famous, the one, the only.............Contessa Consuela....... Born on a hot and humid day, little Consuela.............